Habi Hour S1 Episode 6: Make Learning Happen with Empathy

Conversations on empathy in the time of COVID and remote learning, and the impact a single “kumusta” can have on our students

Transcript

Introductions and Check In

MIGUEL: Is it empathic or empathetic?

KAYE: Empathetic yata.

NIKKI: Talaga? Ang alam ko empathic.

KAYE: Oh my God. Feeling ko gino-Google ni Nikki while we speak.

MIGUEL: Kasi alam ko dahil sa empath, kaya may empathic. Kasi ang sympathy diba, sympathetic.

NIKKI: Yeah. It means the same thing. Empathic is the older word.

MIGUEL: Older. Okay, sige.

[Habi Hour intro]

KAYE: Hi! I’m Kaye and I’m a Learning Experience Designer. On this episode of Habi Hour, I’ve got my two friends Miguel and Nikki with me. Miguel teaches Grade 11 Social Studies in a private school and Nikki is a Wellbeing Officer in a training and consulting company. She also once worked with us at Habi. In this episode, we talk about empathy and making learning happen in such weird and unprecedented times.

Thank you, Nikki and Miguel for joining us. In Habi, we always like to start with a check-in, kasi gusto nating nararamadaman natin kung ano ‘yong nararamdaman ng mga kasama natin in the room. It’s 5PM – gusto ko kayong kumustahin. How are you feeling at the end of the day?

MIGUEL: It’s actually 5:28 and I am physically tired, I am emotionally spent and mentally drained from a full day of work and doing chores.

NIKKI: It’s the end of a long work day but I feel good. I was really energized by the meeting that I just came from. Just hearing my colleagues articulate that they are supportive of each other, they are asking each other to take a break, to rest… and just hearing that makes me feel really good so I’m in a place where I can be supportive of others because I’m rested.

KAYE: Ako naman, same as you. I’m feeling pretty good. Medyo leisurely work ‘yong ginagawa ko ngayon. Hindi ako masyadong napre-pressure by any deadlines so hopefully the fact na kaming dalawa ni Nikki we’re in a good mood today, we can support Migs throughout the recording of this conversation.

What’s it like to be a teacher/trainer during a pandemic?

KAYE: Interesting ‘yong na-share mo, Migs, that you’re feeling quite tired because I can’t imagine what it’s like being a teacher in this time. So kuwento mo naman sa’min.

MIGUEL: Mahirap mag-adjust with the new online set-up. Parang at every month, may bagong challenge. Every end of the week, there’s a new directive na kailangan naming gawin sabi ng supervisor namin. Hindi ako maka-adjust dahil laging nagbabago ‘yong situation, not just with how I teach with my students. ‘Yong expectations ng administrators ko and supervisors sa pagtuturo laging nagbabago. Parang hindi makakuha ng routine para steady lang ang lahat. Mahirap mag-adjust kasi walang a-adjust-an na baseline, dito tayo.

NIKKI: The only way for me to make learning happen during this time is to do it online, thus all the webinars. There are no more face-to-face trainings for the near foreseeable future. Everything has to happen online and so all of the activities I imagined people would have enjoyed like pair-shares, or just being able to recite and raise their hands – all of these are now mediated by technology which in a way can dilute the experience, but if you use technology in other creative ways, it makes up for that lack of face-to-face contact as well.

KAYE: But sometimes just trying to be more creative about the tools that we use isn’t enough. There’s always that difficulty making those connections when you are in the same place as the other person.

MIGUEL: Kaya I think one of the things that we need to build up as educators this year is the sense of connection or empathy.

What is empathy?

KAYE: I think that empathy is a word we hear a lot as educators. We’re always invited to put ourselves in the shoes of our learners. Nikki, is there a deeper way we can look at empathy?

NIKKI: From a psychology perspective, we would split empathy into two components. There’s the cognitive understanding – knowing what the other person is feeling – and the affective component – feeling what the other peson is feeling. To have a complete sense of empathy, you should be able to identify their emotion, but not just leave it at that. Actually try to feel and connect with something within yourself that makes you feel what the other person is feeling.

Is empathy natural or learned?

KAYE: Natural ba to empathize with other people? Does it come easy? Natututunan ba siya?

NIKKI: Empathy is taught to everyone. It doesn’t have to be explicitly taught in school. It’s something that we learn from each other even as we’re babies, infants, toddlers growing up. People are empathizing with us and from that, we learn to do that with others. So someone who has never experienced empathy, someone who grew up in isolation, will not know how to empathize because empathy is learned. Knowing that it’s a behavior that’s learned, you can enhance it even more as a skill. If you’re very intentional about wanting to be more empathic towards others, then you can boost the behaviors and that skill even more.

KAYE: Did it come naturally for you to empathize with your learners?

MIGUEL: ’Yong goal ko talaga as a teacher was to make my lessons accessible, especially because I started out teaching Christian Living/Religion/Values Education classes. I wanted to make it na hindi siya magmumukhang sermon, na pinagagalitan lang sila na mali ‘yong iniisip nila or values system nila. I always came from the perspective of “Mag-eenjoy ba ’yong mga students ko sa gagawin namin? Matutuwa ba sila sa ipapagawa ko? Maiintindihan ba nila ‘yong lesson ko?” Kung hindi ko ‘yon masasagot with a yes, hindi siya magiging accessible at enjoyable. Ako rin, hindi ako matutuwa sa performance ko as a teacher. So I think doon nag-start ‘yong empathy ko to my students. To make my lessons accessible, I had to understand their lives – what was important to them, what they were doing, what they were thinking, what they were watching. It came to a point na ’yong mga examples ko off the top of my head, mga Justin Bieber at saka One Direction kasi ’yon ’yong mga tumatatak sa mga students ko.

How do you empathize in an online learning space?

KAYE: How different is it empathizing when we were teaching face-to-face versus now when you are only seeing them online? May nagbago ba sa proseso mo? May nagbago ba sa amount of empathy that you are able to extend?

MIGUEL: Maraming changes. ‘yong physical distance lang na nawala, and ‘yong social cues. ’Pag nagtuturo ako, ’pag nag-scan sa classroom, may mga few students na sila ‘yong barometer sa classroom. ’Pag nakakunot ’yong noo nila, kailangan kong ituro ulit. Kapag tumatango na sila nang kaunti, gets na ng lahat ’yon. So even just that simple thing nawala kasi I can’t scan sa online classes. Nakukuha ba nila ‘yon? Tumatawa ba sila? Nage-gets ba nila ‘yong joke? Corny ba ’ko masyado? Those cues that help contextualize learning, nawala. And because wala na ‘yon, kailangan kong mag-exert ng 200% more energy into understanding my students.

When I give a 5-minute lecture, natutunan ko na maghihintay ako nang 1 minute, 30 seconds at least, na nakatingin lang ako, naka-smile sa camera to wait for them to ask questions, to type questions kasi hindi siya tipong magtataas sila ng kamay, okay na ‘yon. Kailangan hintayin sila. So ganooong maliit na bagay lang, kailangang baguhin ‘yong paraan ng pagtuturo dahil iba na ‘yong set-up natin. This isn’t Kansas anymore.

NIKKI: I agree with Miguel. We have definitely taken for granted all of the non-verbal cues and because we don’t have that as often anymore. Even if you have your camera on – it’s just shoulders upwards, but there’s so many other ways that other parts of your body speak. When you slouch, it means you’re feeling tired or you’re getting lazy, or you don’t have that much energy anymore. You don’t really see that on camera anymore. And that’s when the camera is on! For other students who are trying to save bandwidth or don’t have that much data allocation, the cameras are off and you would understand why they have to do that. So you have no cues at all. You have no visible cues about how they are feeling at that moment. So there’s an extra effort from the part of the trainer or the teacher for getting information about how the audience or the students are feeling.

So I know a lot of people are turning towards Mentimeter, Slido or Zoom polls to be able to get more responses from their students. That’s one way that we’re making up for the lack of organic sensing of what the other person is feeling.

What impact has an empathic teacher had on you?

KAYE: Ano ang naging impact sa’yo ng teacher because they empathized with you?

NIKKI: I think I’ve experienced empathy from teachers in subtle ways. Maybe the most I would say was in Kinder – I was always the slow one. I couldn’t read, I couldn’t write and everyone was lightyears ahead of me in terms of those skills. But my teacher really exerted – first she sensed that I was having a hard time, and then she talked to my parents about it, and she really exerted the effort to hold my hand, to help me write, to slow down for me. I think that was one of my earlier experiences in terms of empathy in the classroom.

MIGUEL: Ang ikukuwento ko nalang ay si Joke Guevarra, my Philo101 professor. For me, ito ’yong life-changing para sa’kin dahil marami siyang pinasulat na reflection paper para sa Philo tungkol sa pagkatao. Dahil wala akong ibang masulat, sinulat ko lang kung ano ‘yong alam ko. Sinulat ko ‘yong tungkol sa experience ko sa Gawad Kalinga and building houses in Mindoro. Tapos ‘’nong bumalik sa’kin, ‘’yong note niya ay “This is good. Why don’t you consider joining JVP?” which is Jesuit Volunteers Philippines. At ‘yan ang aking earliest encounter sa JVP at dahol do’n ‘yon ‘yong simula ng aking JVP journey. Ni-research ko siya – volunteer organization. Na-engganyo nag ako and I ended up joining. Isa si Joke sa mga kinausap ko no’ng seriously kino-consider ko nang mag-join ng JVP and nakuha ko lang na parang naintindihan niya ‘yong kwento ko. Parang naintindihan niya ‘yong experience ko at alam niya kung ano ‘yong pinanggagalingan ko. I felt seen. Naks! I felt heard. I felt a connection na dahil sa kinuwento ko with my Gawad Kalinga experience, naintindihan niya kung ano ‘yong pinagmumulan niya at naisip niya na makakatulong ito sa akin. I would like to think  nakatulong and JVP experience ko sa’kin.

KAYE: For me, ‘yong pinaka-impactful effect of empathy for me was no’ng college ako, I had a history prof. I think a lot of people have preconceived notions about history as a subject na boring siya, na all you do is sit there and read things and remember things. Pero ‘yong teacher na ‘yon, may project kami as a class where we would pretend to be Greek soldiers – Greek hoplites – tapos he got all of the history classes during that semester to participate in a battle on the field. Tapos doon ko pinakaunang na-realize that studying history could be fun and I like to think that he was able to make it fun and make it impactful kasi naiintindihan niya that the typical student might not enjoy sitting in class, listening to lectures the entire time. Na-appreciate ko na naintindihan niya – I felt seen. My class felt seen by that prof. Parang naintindihan niya what would have been interesting to us.

What changes when there is empathy in a learning experience?

KAYE: What changes when there is empathy in a learning experience?

NIKKI: For me, without empathy, teachers are just giving lectures, trying to cover chapters and giving tests, but when there’s empathy, then all of the learning experiences can be aligned towards helping that student succeed. You actually get to know where they’re at, what they’re feeling, you know where to start, you know how to contextualize lessons, you know what direction to head it towards to their goals as well. Without empathy, it’s going to be a very bland lecture, but with empathy, it’s going to be a learning design towards their success.

MIGUEL: For me, the class becomes collaborative. The students have a say in how we create our lessons, in how we design our classroom and our activities. And I think whether they explicitly recognize it or not, they can feel it. They become more engaged. Hindi siya bland lecture na may ipapakita tayong slides tapos may gagawin silang quiz, isa-submit nila and we’re done. 

KAYE: Feeling ko a lot of students in a traditional way of designing learning experiences, it’s very easy for a student to feel powerless. Naaalala ko na no’ng student ako, wala bahala na ‘yong prof ko. What happens to me in this classroom is up to the whims of my prof. Pero when the prof or when the teacher is able to empathize with me, I feel valued, parang may say ako sa nangyayari sa classroom ko. That’s such a nice feeling to have when you’re a young student and you’re not very confident.

MIGUEL: When I started to shift  my lessons into more collaborative, engaging activities, hindi naman siya parang magic na “Boom! Sobrang nag-enjoy na ‘yong students ko!” Ang dami pa ring steps into making it as good as it is now for my students.  Humingi ako ng feedback sa kanila – nagustuhan niyo ba ‘to? Alin sa activities natin ‘yong pinaka-nag-enjoy kayo? Alin sa activities natin ‘yong pinakapangit? Bakit siya pangit? Bakit hindi niyo nagawa?Kasi baka rin naman isipin ng listeners na kapag nag-shift tayo to thinking empathically and designing our lessons empathically for our students, it will become completely different na parang Dead Poets Society na tatayo sila sa chairs. It will take time and it will take change, and it will be a learning process for us teachers din.

How do you think we can develop or strengthen empathy?

KAYE: How do you think we can develop or strengthen empathy?

NIKKI: For me, the first mindset is about being non-judgemental with your emotions. I think we tend to brand some emotions as bad, and some emotions as something you shouldn’t linger on or you should try not to feel and there are emotions that are good. If you feel sad, allow yourself to feel sad. If you see someone feeling angry, you don’t tell them that’s not a good feeling or can you stop doing that. I think just allowing emotions to be what they are and respecting them for what they are is one step towards being more empathic. Because all emotions actually serve different purposes. It’s not always about being happy. If you don’t repress your own emotions and if you don’t force other people to repress specific emotions, that’s one way towards allowing yourself to understand your emotions and the emotions of others.

KAYE: My tip – I’m trying to pause, for example kapag may narinig ako na nakakasakit sa’kin, before ‘yong unang reaction ko is always to feel hurt. But taking that moment to – okay, I feel hurt. Sa’n kaya nanggagaling yong other person? I guess tulad ng sinasabi natin throughout the conversation, it’s not something that comes naturally to us, it has to be practiced. So I’ve been trying to be better at that.

MIGUEL: Don’t judge our emotions, then to pause. Ako, I ask questions. Nagtatanong ako. Maraming relief operations right now dahil 10,000 ‘yong bagyo na dumaan sa atin in the past months. May mga reports na bumabalik na may mga relief goods like mga damit na hindi naman kailangan ng community. Ang kailangan nila tubig, kailangan nila ng gamot – other things. At kung nagtanong lang sana ‘yong magdo-donate, ed ‘di sana mas naging useful, mas naging worth it ‘yong donations. Magtanong lang. Hindi naman mabigat magtanong. Ako, I always ask my students how they are, how their other school requirements are going, how’s their lovelife. Nagtatanong lang kasi from those questions, I get a better understanding of where they are coming from. 

One of my good practices in my classes is I always have at the start of the week, yong first session namin, I spend the first 5-10 minutes just asking them what are their wins – for the win moment! It doesn’t have to be a large, bigtime thing. Sir, over the weekend naging milyonaryo po ako. It can be something small. Sir, pag gising ko po bacon ‘yong ulam namin, ang sarap! Something that they want to share, something that they did, something that made them smile that they consider a win. From those simple stories, I get a better understanding of my students. Some of them talk about their fears with college applications. A few of them talk about BTS na ngayon. Kung ang kuwento nila ay puro school requirements, baka kaya ko i-lessen at least for my class, ‘yong gagawin namin.  Magbibigay ako ng free time para makagawa sila ng requirements nila. Or I spend a little more time to settle them down para hindi sila stressed or nagpa-panic. It helps build them up – just asking questions. And it works not just with our students. It works with all our relationships. When we ask questions, we get a better understanding of people.

NIKKI: I love your tip about asking questions because I think the biggest block for empathy is assuming that you already know everything and you just act based on what would work for you, what you think is right, when actually there is so much more to know about another person and their preferences. I think the other tool that I’ve experience a lot in Habi is the Empathy Map which is a Design Thinking tool. It just gives you the space to think about what the other person is going through – what they’re seeing, hearing, thinking. And when you give yourself that space to ask those seemingly obvious questions, you get so much more insights about the person that you’re thinking about. Doing an empathy map whether on your own or whether you’re actually going to reach out to that person and you’re going ask them the answers to the questions, it’s actually a useful activity for building empathy.

How do you feel now after this conversation?

KAYE: How do you feel now after this conversation?

NIKKI: I just like I especially have a tendency towards jumping straight into the work and ignoring what other things are happening in the world. But now that we talked about it, I can really remember why it doesn’t help to ignore the feelings of people. It really helps to validate and acknowledge them if you want to get anything done.

MIGUEL: This conversation helped me to remind myself that my lessons are a process – empathy is a process. Kailangan ko siyang hulmahin at i-form continually kasi baka ako na rin, as what Nikki said, nag-assume na rin ako sa experiences ng students ko, ng friends ko, at hindi na rin helpful. THis is a reminder for me to be mindful, to be intentional with what I’m doing and why I’m doing these things.

KAYE: Ako naman, I think nowadays it’s very easy to feel like the world is not sensitive to you or to other people, but having this conversation reminded me that there are always people out there who care, who want to care, and want to learn how to care better.

Check Out

KAYE: Fill in the blank. When people are more empathetic…

MIGUEL: … the world will be a better place.

NIKKI: … more people feel seen and valued

KAYE: … then we become more caring towards each other.

[Habi Hour Outro]